The sad truth is that you can want the best for someone, but you can’t force it on them. You can want them to take care of themselves and make better choices, but you can’t make those choices for them. Virtually every spiritual community sooner or later has a member who rightly raises the concern of the other members. When they resist our best attempts to help them move to a healthier place, what’s left is for us to love them and hope that our love will make them care enough about themselves to get help. I don’t believe that pushing them out the door is ever the best answer, yet that’s precisely what a lot of communities do if they judge the person to be too disruptive – but most often the truth is that those communities haven’t done everything they could before sending the person in question away. We get tired of dealing with disruption and long for our nice, quiet, peaceful community to return and so we bypass an opportunity for growth for all concerned. That’s never a good outcome for anyone.