Timing as Excuse

Have you ever known someone with whom you had to have a difficult discussion and who avoided it by claiming it was never the right time to have the discussion? It’s a strategy a lot of addicts, as well as people trying to avoid needed change, tend to use. They try to blame us for…

Presence

Often when doing couple’s work I encounter people, most often but not exclusively males, who believe their partner wants them to solve every difficulty they tell them about. A story about a rough day at work is met with a litany of well intended but misguided proposed solutions, when all their partner wants is to…

Supporting Each Other

When we are upset and looking for support it’s pretty devastating to hear someone say, “I don’t know what you want me to say.” It pretty much ends the conversation because it sounds very much like, “I don’t want to talk about this.” If we care about the other person and we honestly don’t know…

Listening

How often do we find ourselves in a conversation and notice that we are formulating our next response rather than listening to what’s being said? Have you ever noticed someone who responded to something you just said as if they never heard it? We are so afraid of a few seconds of silence while we…

Who’s Pants Are YOU Wearing?

I was in Madison this last weekend to celebrate the wedding of Megan Sexton and Jeremy Wood. It was a lovely ceremony (but then I am biased) and they are a truly wonderful couple in every way, and their friends and families are great as well. I am not going to write about their wedding…