Sometimes, most often when I am functioning as a Christian priest, well-meaning people say the most reprehensible things in my presence while imagining they are impressing me with their morality.

Let’s be clear: A child is infinitely more than a piece of animated ejaculate. Neither is a child ever an “accident,” as if a disembodied penis was merrily making its way down the street when it fell into an equally disembodied vagina and began ejaculating. This kind of pseudo-morality is little more than self-righteous foolishness, and anyone who seriously holds to it looks to me to be a lot more of an accident than the pregnancy of which they are being critical. Sadly, sometimes the wrong sperm dies in the Kleenex!