Very often, when we encounter some sort of setback, we find ourselves asking, “why did this happen to me?” That’s a natural reaction, and so I don’t want to be critical of it. Let yourself ask it. Then move on to the more important question, which is, “what next?” When we find ourselves stuck, it’s usually because we haven’t yet moved on to decide what we are going to do in response to our setback. Focusing on “why?” ensures that we won’t move on, because we never move from looking for a [most often unattainable] explanation to planning our recovery.