Dysfunction doesn’t go away by itself. We often think that our maladaptive behaviors will disappear with a change of scenery, and so we flit from relationship to relationship, job to job, friendship to friendship, social circle to social circle – and for a time things do seem to be better. That’s because our arrival on a new scene brings with it a honeymoon period, a kind of grace period, where our maladaptive behaviors are written off by our new cohort as anxiety over our new situation. We also tend to be on our best behavior in a new environment. Sooner or later, however, we relax. As we relax those old behaviors rear their ugly heads, and soon we are out the door looking for a place where we will be truly appreciated. That cycle will repeat itself over and over unless we do the spiritual and therapeutic work necessary to change our behaviors. That requires surrendering no small amount of ego and narcissism – a price many of us find too steep to pay.