The truth is that none of us pops out of the womb fully formed, and that’s a fact that we seem to forget about ourselves. Children, penguin birthfrom the teen years and quite often beyond, blame their parents for their problems and for not being perfect but seen to lack the ability – or maybe it’s more that they lack the willingness – to recognize that nobody is fully formed by the child-bearing years! We all are depended on a number of factors, including parenting but also genetics and a host of others, to achieve our full formation. Now, it’s certainly true that more than a few parents check out of their developmental path through substance abuse or absence, but as long as our parents continually worked on their own development we really don’t have a leg to stand on as we criticize them because we, too, remain undeveloped as we become parents. Our energy would be much better directed toward our own development!

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