A friend recently told me that after a relapse some time back he went to an AA meeting where someone asked him if he was still married to the same woman. When my friend answered “yes,” the person told him that if he wasn’t still married he would probably be sober (having assumed his wife was enabling his addiction, even though he didn’t know either of them.) Pat answers and formulas for success are most often an attempt by the person offering them to appear intelligent, insightful, and informed – but they most often betray profound ignorance and insecurity.