I do a little Blog Talk Radio show every Wednesday at 10am Central Time.  Nothing huge, 30 minutes of reflection on whatever tickles my fancy, though if I do say so myself quite often I am funny as hell.  This week someone called in – not that I was intending to take calls, I was enjoying running a monologue – and I decided to answer it because I recognized the area code.  Big mistake.

I would love to tell you what he wanted, other than to ramble on about some religious viewpoint or other that I couldn’t make heads or tails of, but the truth is I don’t know!   Finally, I had to mute him and then hang up on him.  I invited him to email me through Blog Talk Radio and let me know what he wanted to talk about so I could schedule him as a guest for a future episode.  I am an equal opportunity sort of guy like that.  Big mistake number two.  Here is just snippet:

I have looked at your website. What you apparently have not realized is the significance of what Messiah said is the greatest commandment of all, “that YAH is forever ONE!” and that the LOVE of OUR NEIGHBORS must be SOLIDIFIED in realization of the need to PRESERVE KNOWLEDGE of that ONE INITIAL LOVE! ALL that YAH has and ever will do, is FOREORDAINED according to HIS purpose in this world’s creation from the BEGINNING.

Call me rigid, but ONCE you START with this EMPHASIS I tend to pretty much DISMISS you as a LUNATIC.  Nevertheless, I slogged through the entirety of his painful correspondence and must confess that I still don’t have the first clue what he is trying to say.  I also confess that I quite simply couldn’t care less.

It’s not that I don’t respect divergent belief systems, because I do, but I can respect them without spending my life listening to them being preached at me – particularly when the preacher is for some reason unwilling to cut to the chase!  Moreover, I simply am not interested in apologetics – which I define and the official defense of the dubious – no matter the context!  Doctrine bores me, dogma bores me, and I’m not a big fan of words written in ALL CAPS.  If you feel a need to save the world by converting every last person in it, please save me for last.

Never let it be said that hope doesn’t spring eternal, however!  I sent this reply:

Thank you very much for your invitation, but I quite honestly don’t have the first clue what in the world you are talking about.  I can assure you that I am happy that you have your beliefs, even as I am unsure of what they are, and would never try to change your beliefs.  At the same time, I am uninterested in entering into a debate about doctrine, dogma, or belief.  I wish you all the best!

That should settle it.  And if you believe that, I have some SWAMPLAND in FLORIDA I would like to sell you!