Yet Another Reason to Avoid Christians

I just finished watching this year’s Rose Bowl and saw my Wisconsin team get beaten by a good TCU team. TCU, for those of you who might not know, is Texas Christian University. Any time I hear the word “Christian” in the name of anything I tend to get uncomfortable because I am pretty sure there’s a good chance somebody is going to say something that reminds me of why I identify as a follower of Jesus rather than a Christian. The reason: You Christians are really awkward, misinformed, obnoxious, and just make me generally uncomfortable.

What happened? TCU’s quaterback was asked about the win, and to my dismay he began, “There’s a verse in Bible, in 1 Peter 5, and it says, ‘Be alert, wake up!’ and that’s what we did.” Really?

During halftime of the game we learned that it costs more than $41, 000 a year for room, board, and tuition at TCU. They didn’t say if biblical misinformation training was included in the tuition or if that costs more. I suspect it’s included at no extra charge, in which case he would still be paying too much.

What bothers me about this? The first thing that bothers me is that the interviewer asked him about a football game, and I don’t care how hard you look, the Bible doesn’t speak to football. His little holier than thou scripture quotation is absolutely ridiculous in that context. Even worse, little Mr. Christian QB apparently didn’t read the whole verse, which is 1 Peter 5:8 for those who care: “Be on the alert! Wake up! Your enemy the devil, like a roaring lion, prowls around looking for someone to devour.” Presumably, the University of Wisconsin football team is the devil. I’m sure that will be news to them.

Can’t we just play football and have all you scripture memorizing lunatics sit together in a corner somewhere you can’t be heard by the rest of us? That way you and all of your socially awkward Christian friends can amaze one another with your ability to butcher scripture and compete for the coveted title of Nerd of the Month. This kind of obsessive nonsense is yet another reason that I beg you, please – don’t call me a Christian. Call me a follower of Jesus.

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